Colours

Whenever my mom goes for vacation with my father, she would come home with tons of souvenirs. I have an older sister and a younger sister, so, she would buy similar clothes for us with distinct patterns. Their (my sisters) outfits' patterns would ALWAYS be the normal, ordinary, simple looking ones which is completely different from mine. Last time, my mom went to Hatyai and bought us pants. Their pants' colours are black and brown with flower, artsy patterns respectively. Mine? HAHA. You bet. It's a COLOURFUL, RAINBOW-ISH pants. Very vibrant. I also remember that she also bought me a pair of Bob-Marley-ish-colours pants which is very very colourful.

Me: Mom, why do you always buy me some very colourful, odd looking pants?

Mom: In Hatyai, when I went to shop for souvenirs, I came across the colourful pants that you're wearing now. But I didn't buy it yet. I went to survey other souvenirs in somewhere else. But then I remembered you. A flash of your face occurred to me when I thought about the pants. Hence, I walked all the way back to the shop that sold the pants which was quite far. I was willing to walk that far because I thought about you.

Me: *speechless (then find out that mom did not really answer my question)

Guess my style is just simply unique and different. Thanks, mom.

She bought this Bob Marley ish pants at Pasar Payang, Kuala Terengganu.

oh right, maybe I might as well share a little bit of my photos in Perhentian Island. I've reached 20 years old, but I've never been to that island even though a car ride to the jetty takes only 7 minutes from my home. Hah. So I went there with my girls friends, a sister and a cousin last year during our semester break.

 

 

Here's a video of us in Perhentian Island. Due to copyrighted issue, you can only watch it through your laptop, not smartphones :(

Of Friends and Escapism

In less than 11 hours from now, I will encounter a literature paper in the examination hall (obviously). But, of course, I choose to blog instead of reviewing the poems tonight.

our little rendezvous~

The thing is, I can't wait to answer the paper and then 'escape' with a good friend of mine (you know who you are). We tend to go out (A LOT) whenever we're ravenous, bored or stressed. We both are fascinated with the ideas of the word - introverts. Despite the fact that we're both introverts, she would do most of the talking (call for delivery, talk to strangers mostly) because I wouldn't (social anxiety hits me). Because we're so quiet in class, but secretly we talk about bizarre things (most people wouldn't expect that) to each other. Our frequent visits to the books stores is healing. Obviously, we love books and .... movies. There is no awkward silence between us. Silence is good - as long as there's music! Sometime we would argue, most of the times because I get offended easily. Then everything would be fine. That's normal, I guess. I don't want a shallow, fake friendship where we just smile and talk nice things and that's it. 

I don't have a lot of friends. That does not mean that I'm a bad person (get to know me first before judging me yes please). Perhaps making friends is not my forte. I can count how many close friends I have. I value them and I still keep in touch with them. I gain some. I even lose some. Once they stop making an effort to keep in touch with me (you know like do not even bother to meet me, talk to me or reply my messages) I would stop too. If you can't even keep up a conversation with me, why do we even call ourselves as best friends? I'm thankful for those who stay. The fact that you can bear with my attitude is a-ma-zing!  

Our Times in Paper Towns

Hello there,

I'm still in exam week, and currently I'm preparing for the linguistic paper (which you know I'm NOT cause I'm blogging pfffff). 3 papers left before I get to end this third semester. 

I've always wanted to watch the movies Paper Town and Our Times and so I did. I expected Paper Towns to be lame because of its trailer lol (what's with the main guy obsessing over a girl, ugh, he's so delusional). Whereas I gave high expectation towards Our Times cause Valarie enthusiastically said that the Taiwan movie is not exactly Cliche' and there's something MORE than just typical high school love story.

Heck, expectation often leads to disappointment. 

Paper Towns is simply amazing. Infatuation might drives you to create a fantasy image of the girl/boy you like. But then again, at the end of the day, the person that you adore is just a HUMAN. And if you're hoping that your miracle/happiness begins when you meet your other half, you might be wrong. Your miracle might be right in front of you, but you left them unnoticed. In this movie (WARNING: SPOILER), the protagonist realizes that his miracle was not the girl, but his moments with his best friends (bromance alert). The ending was beautiful.

And Our Times? 

I like this scene (to the point I screenshot and edited it lol). There's a special connection right there, can't they see it? grrrr

Sadly, it's a typical boy-bullies-girl-ends-up-falling-for-each-other-but-it-was-too-late kind of movie. Few scenes were quite similar to the popular Thailand movie, First Love. I enjoyed the movie, yes, but I expected something more meaningful than just that. (WARNING: SPOILER) What does the main guy expect really? He confessed to the main girl right after he left, because he thought she was in love with another guy. He wanted her to be happy, huh. If you want her to be happy with another guy, why did u confess to her at the end, what's the point? Ugh. Was he blind? It was so obvious they were into each other. Gosh, it was so frustrating to watch those kind of movies. hahahahaha. 

Alright now excuse me, I drank too much Green Tea, therefore frequent visits to the toilet is a must.

YouTube?

People take me seriously. I take people seriously. And worse, I take myself seriously. I even warned them that I am 'terlalu serius'. Yeah that sucks because when people make jokes, I take them seriously. And I refuse to laugh at stupid jokes (in other words, I wouldn't fake my laughs). God, I need to loosen up a bit. I need to learn how to wear a SMILE when I'm under pressure. Calm down girl. Calm down. Fuh.

Tomorrow, I have to catch a 8.30 AM flight to Penang :(
Time sure flies fast when I'm at home sobsssss

My new YT profile header~

So recently I've read a blog post from Anis. She's a good friend of mine. We used to form a dancing duo (HAHA) when we were both 15. Now she's studying International Relation at Aussie and I just met her last Tues (after 5 years OMG finally). She's an amazing writer so yeah, I wouldn't miss even a single blog post. Oh right, regarding her latest blog post, 'Essena's quitting social media', I admire her boldness at stating her point of view about it (I personally admire her last sentence *wink). I've read an article on the web about Essena before coming across Anis's blog post but I was never one of her Instagram/Youtube followers. I watched her video (where she announced her so-called quitting social media), watched her friends' responses and just now I watched Bribry and Candice 2015 montage. Oh wait, I'm not going to elaborate about Essena's quitting social media because she thinks it is fake. This is not about her. It's about ME. ME. 

FYI, Essena, social media is awesome and I guess thanks to you, it occurs to me that tonight, I feel inspired to record more videos, edit them and upload them into YouTube. I created my YouTube account since 2008 for uploading dancing videos purpose. Mind you, I'm still dancing, but I'm not going to upload dancing videos anymore alright.

I really really love recording videos, capturing moments and editing them by highlighting the good parts (and the ugly parts because I'm REAL). Therefore, I decide to record my moments and upload them monthly into my YT account starting 2016. No harm, right?

And maybe, just maybe, if I can bring myself together, I would upload a video of a book review/haul?

WISH ME LUCK. BECAUSE I REALLY NEED IT.

What am I doing with my life?

Next week would be my final exam for this third semester. I'm currently at home, relishing my moments here (this is supposed to be study week but I'm not contributing anything related to the word 'study'). My 25-year-old sister is going to get hitched on my 21st birthday. ugh. Why on my birthday? (It does sound like I'm getting butthurt for being single while my sister is getting married on my 21st birthday, right? haha). 

I'm studying tesol. I'm studying linguistics. I'm studying literature. I even managed to do some (another) acting this semester. The schedule was packed. Even though I must concede that I skipped few classes and screwed the tests, I actually love the subjects. I love the fact that I'm analyzing poetry about death, the narratorial intervention in short stories and yeah even linguistic thingy. I don't care what they say, I still love the subjects. If you don't like the subjects, just keep your mouth shut.  

and I designed this poster :p

During LeLAC (an English camp organized by USM TESOLians)

 I discovered my new passion for photographing, recording videos and editing. I enjoyed being a part of St John's family where I got the opportunity to design posters. At first, I realized that my design was kind of ... bizarre (I guess?), but then again, I was just trying to experiment, discover and explore various styles. And I loved every moment of it. Now that I own a camera, I decide to optimize the usage by joining any event that required me to capture moments. And it was worth it. 

But um, after becoming a part of LeLAC's multimedia department for 2nd time, I gave up. Being a part of the team was amazing, but I'm done. I'm the kind of person who respects ideas, sharing and contributions from other people. When people compliment our group work product, I would tend to say, "Yes, this is HER idea, awesome right?". I would give credits to people who deserve it. But then I realize, they don't really acknowledge my contribution. Even when it was my idea in the first place, I feel unappreciated when my team member does not even bother to mention it. Yeap, I know it sounds like I'm craving for attention/credits but of course not. Don't you think that every person who works hard deserves at least an appreciation/recognition, right? 

Then I remember that not everyone has the same mindset as I am. We're just simply different.

And I'm still wandering. And wondering. What am I going to do with my life? I want to teach English, (yes, I'm on my way) but at the same time I want to do freelance. I want to inspire. I want to spread the beauty of Islam. I want to discover new things. I want to write stories. I want to travel and write about it in a journal. I want to capture moments. I want to create arts. I want to contribute my presence into world peace. I want to be an editor, designer and writer. I want to publish my own magazine. And the list goes on and on.

What am I doing with my life? I'm living in the moments, wondering and wandering but let's just say I'm not lost because I'm still on my way.