I miss home.

 (FYI, the title has nothing to do with this entry. Peace)  

Us. Roommates. The other two went MIA. Haha. Credit: Leen

Pop quizzes. Assignments. Tons and tons of exercises. Extra classes for new students to catch up those chapters we missed. Mind maps. Background reading. Revising. Procrastinating?

   Those pretty much summed up what I've been doing for this two weeks. God. It's exhausting. Even just to think and ponder about it makes my forehead to form err.. wrinkles? So yeah, this is only college. I couldn't imagine what's next for our next destination ....... UNIVERSITI SAINS MALAYSIA ... (if Allah wills it).

   And come to think of it, I am so .... slow. I failed my quizzes. But hey, what do you expect from me? I am a newbie aka latecomer. So, I guess that makes me 'legal' to make mistakes. Shoot. I shouldn't have this kind of thought. I really shouldn't. I don't deserve to even think about this. I shouldn't have this I'm-late-so-I'm-allowed-to-fail-my-quizzes-and-leave-my-previous-assignments-unfinished perception. But still, I can sense the pressure (who doesn't?). They're real good. Smooth. And intimidating, sometime. But I'm glad they're kind of helpful to us :) .............. after one week :p

   For someone who just doesn't get Physics, yes, it is tough. To be honest, I'm not even in 'good terms' with the basics. Then how did you get an A for Physics, Demona? Oh well, it just happened. Ha. Yeah righty. And there's ONE thing that I've learned from my Physics Teacher. 

"Kamu semua ni jangan jadi macam senior kamu (no offence). Pelajar Melayu sekarang aim pointer yang cukup-cukup makan je. Pelajar Melayu, ketika belajar di Matrikulasi, mereka berhempas pulas untuk mendapatkan pointer yang tinggi demi menyambung pelajaran ke universiti, tetapi apabila mereka berjaya melanjutkan pelajaran ke universiti pilihan mereka, mereka sudah tidak ada semangat untuk belajar bersungguh-sungguh dan aim pointer yang cukup-cukup makan sahaja, bukan macam pelajar Cina (no matter how much I despise the fact that peeps these days inclined to compare us, Malays to Chinese, I must say ..... this fact is, well, undeniable). Nanti kamu kena bersaing dengan pelajar Cina di USM. Macam mana kamu nak bersaing dengan mereka kalau soalan tutorial pun selalu tak siap? (Hehe) " Kata cikgu Physics. (and yeah, of course I edited her words because I forgot the whole thing la... but the meaning is the same one)

So yeah. I'm gonna do it my way. Change. I wouldn't expect super excellent outcomes, of course. But I'm gonna do my best. "Do what you do and do it great. And you know we're not that kind to sit around and wait," Sang YUNA through her beautiful song, Loud Noises. Remember, aim and expectation are 2 different things.

p/s: Until now, I'm wondering, "How did I get here, when I'm supposed to study Tesl?" I did not expect to make a 'comeback' to a .... laboratory. Wow. Life can be so magically and dramatically unexpected sometime .... or MOST of the times. Haha.


Everything happens so fast. Time flies. And I couldn't just sit back and wait for everything to happen without my consent. I always feel like I'm an independent girl. Ha. But, when I stepped into the 'new world' (UiTM), the insecurity consumed me. Inferior. Everyone seemed intimidating. Wow. I thought I could handle this, alone. Like how I used to. But, alas, I still feel the need to depend on someone. Someone that you can call, friend. And I miss my family and home. Ugh. Baru kau tahu langit tu tinggi atau rendah, kann? 

After one-horrendous-week orientation at UiTM Jengka, Pahang, the students of foundation of Tesl and Law were transferred to UiTM Kuantan. 

The hostel is so ..... comfy. So unexpected. Haha. I loved the night view. I loved my housemates. I couldn't ask for more. It was so marvelous. It was like... my second home. I still remember that night when we stalked our seniors through their twitters and all that. God, that was so hilarious and um, addictive. Ha. Girls *rolls eyes

But then, on my fourth day staying at that hostel, I got an email from MARA. I forwarded that email to my Mom. I contacted Diyan. I called Fana ...........and we talked for almost 28 minutes. The decision was final. I'm gonna have to leave UiTM. I'm gonna accept MARA's offer..............after declining it for the sake of studying TESL at UiTM. Realizing that USM also offered TESL, I didn't hesitate anymore (like I did before). There's no such thing as too late. Enough said. 

Goodbye, UiTM. I wish I was a TESLian, but I didn't even make it to attend any classes. So, yeah, I just missed that chance. Because deep inside, I can feel that I can do something bigger, better than this.

So, hello ... SCIENCE. I thought 2012 was our last meeting, but, it looks like, we're going to meet again T^T 

Mungkin. Allah takdirkan aku begini agar aku berusaha untuk memperbaiki niat aku. Supaya aku tidak mengulangi kesilapan aku. Straight A's SPM. But it feels .... kind of empty. Kerana aku belajar for the sake of examination. Ya. Usaha aku tidak sia-sia. But, what am I fighting for? 

Mungkin. Allah takdirkan aku tersilap beli tudung (?) .... because He wants me to start making progress, now. Baby steps. Heh.

p/s: Oh My English! Mind my Bahasa, please :p