In my past experience, I've tried a lot of new things, challenging myself, and that's when I discovered my passion. If I didn't try, I wouldn't discover it. You know what they say, don't wait for opportunity, create it. Whenever I feel the urge to do something so bad, I'll visualize the whole thing in my head and find the opportunity to get what I want. Trust me, it works. I have this strong feeling, deep inside, there's this voice telling me that I'm going to seize it and the only way to make it becomes reality is by acting upon it.
I don't know what's going on with me lately, is it because of the intoxicating latte I sipped, oral presentation that I think I aced it (insyaAllah), being able to do the opening of a dance performance or ... the fact that for the first time I answered this extrovert vs introvert quiz in class just now, I scored - EXTROVERT. That quiz's result is invalid, for sure. It's Buzzfeed, y'all. I'm certain that 70% of me is leaning towards INTROVERT lol. But the quiz's result somehow changes my perception. I could try to leave my comfort zones. I should try overcoming my fears. I don't have social anxiety, I'm just socially awkward. I think too much about what I say and how it affects me or them. I rely on my extroverted company (note: I call them extrovert because they're the opposite of the word 'awkward') too much. I let them feel superior over me by letting them do all the talking/meeting other people and I hide behind their back just because I can. It's easier to let the thoughts flew by rather than expressing them in words. I'm stuck in my own comfort zone for years.
Until one day, one of my extroverted companies made fun of me being socially awkward. Of course it hurts like hell. I shed some tears in the bathroom and went out like I didn't feel affected by those words. I'm too comfortable being quiet so much that I've let my guard down in front of them. The truth is, I hate being awkward. But I can't help it.
These days, I have no idea what's gotten into me, but somehow everyday, there would always be strangers smiling at me and guess what? It's infectious. I could wear a smile and talk to the barista without looking at my feet (the atmosphere was less awkward). Baby steps. I don't want to hide behind the privilege of being an introvert just to avoid social interactions where ......... amazing things might just happen.