I have a bad habit of sleeping in. I definitely have no problem waking up early for Subuh's prayer. Waking up early is not a big deal at all honestly. But then I tend to feel the need to go back to sleep. During holiday, I can sleep legit for more than 10 hours. I slept around 11pm that night, woke up at 6am for prayer, then continued to sleep until 11am. Then I woke up feeling terrible and hate myself for surrendering to sleep.
Every semester I always wish that I could form a new habit of NOT sleeping in after the prayer and I can get ready for morning workout (pilates or jogging) afterward. Because last time I did those routine, I felt so productive and energetic the whole day. But then again, like a cycle, I regressed to my bad habit. SLEEPING IN.
I was definitely on top of my game during my foundation year. I did not sleep in at all during weekend (mind you, don't even talk about weekdays, the classes were 8 to 5). I STUDIED outside of the hostel room. yeap. I STUDIED instead of sleeping in. I studied those subjects that I detest the most (math, bio, phy, chem). At that time, I had strong motivation and pressure to maintain my result and get out of the college.
But now, I admit that I'm hitting the rock bottom and take everything for granted. I know that I always talk about this quite frequently lately. I'm already halfway on my 3rd year of doing this yet at some points, I lost my motivation and purpose. This is what I've always wanted and now I'm still questioning it. I've always wanted to teach English but considering my efforts (which are lacking, fyi) right now, I'm not sure if I am capable of doing it in the future. Worst of all, I'm currently dealing with anxiety. I have no one to turn to, nor that I want to rely on anyone (because I find talking about my problems to anyone would make things worse). Hence I find peace by seeking guidance from God, exercising as my form of anti-depressant and spending a lot of time to reflect.
And I want to start a new habit that does not include sleeping in. I've tried it for the past two days and I've never felt so good and refreshed. Wake up, pray, sip coffee, go for morning run and have breakfast. Then I take a quick nap right before Zohor prayer. InsyaAllah I'll try my best to maintain this habit. It won't be easy and I might fall prey into my bad habit but I promise to keep trying. Changing my bad habit might just be a life-changing experience, won't it?