I feel so exhausted. The journey to reach USM from home seemed .................. endless, I dare say.

Due to floods, it took me almost a week to get here. Not that I'm complaining. But it was so unexpected. I didn't expect to NOT be at USM during study week. I was supposed to STUDY, like LITERALLY study, but I didn't. 

My bus ride was cancelled due to landslide. TWO nights at USM Kubang Kerian. TWO nights at UMP. ONE night at my cousins' home. Fuhhhh.

It took car, bus and airplane ride to reach USM today. Whoa. Sometime, I can't help but get mad at myself for making stupid decisions, for allowing myself to wait this long, for wasting time, for procrastinating, for wallowing in misery and being emotional over little things.

Along the journey, I realize how fragile and vulnerable I am. When Allah gave me a little test (which was nothing compared to the flood victims) I began to push the panic button. I became stressed, emotional and hot-tempered. God, I was so.... weak (still am). Then the lesson that I learnt during my literature lecture occurred to my mind (related to a poem) where human begins to expose his or her selfish trait during crisis. I realized how self-centered I was. It was all about me, myself and I. I didn't even care about their feelings, as if the world revolved around me, as if I was the only one who was in pain and frustration. When I was in bad mood, I pushed the people around me away from me. Everything they said, even, "Are you okay?" appeared annoying to me because at that moment I was like "I AM NOT OKAY, LOOK AT ME, I AM NOT OKAY, WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING?" (I didn't say that to them literally of course). I can't even control my temper. Man, I'm afraid I'm going to hurt people around me without meaning to do so. How do I control my temper?

#14 Something Disgusting You Do.

Here's my dirty little secret and I'm not going to act like I'm innocent whatsoever. I've read so many fictional books. Young adult. Adult. So encounters with sexual content are unavoidable. I know you do, too. 

Only this time, I feel compelled to read a LITERATURE novel............... within sexual content. Somehow, I feel disgusted because whoa, so the lecturer and students are actually reading it, aren't they? This is for educational purpose (for crying out loud). Hence, it feels so... wrong. Maybe I'm being naive. There is a assignment and a question related to this novel left to be answered during final exam. All in all, I have to read it. Ugh. 

No offense. But when the lecturer keep emphasizing the 'sexual adventure', and so forth, I feel kind of ..... disgusted. *sigh and continue to flip the pages of the novel 

#13 A Date You Would Love To Go On.

Go Jamie! 

My all time favourite movie is 'A Walk To Remember'. I think I've mentioned about that movie for quite few times already. I don't know, there's something about the movie that hits me deep down here and no matter how many times I watch it, I still can't get enough of it. I just can't. I can't forget when Landon and Jamie had their first date by dancing under the moonlight (just to name ONE). They also waited until dawn at cemetery to observe the comet using her telescope (her passion towards astronomy) and Landon named a star with Jamie's name (officially registered). Classic. That movie came out on 2002 and coincidentally, right now, I am listening to Avril Lavigne's Let Go album which had been released on 2002. 

For your information, my favourite album from Michelle Branch (The Spirit Room) came out on 2001. Hmm. Back then, during late 90s and early 2000s, I was so used to listening and watching music videos in RTM TV2. Remember Stacie Orrico, Blue, Spice Girls, Avril Lavigne and Hilary Duff? Music was REAL good back then. I always think Michelle Branch brings out the element of that particular time through her music. Her music feels so close and intimate to me. Especially the one called 'Game Of Love' by Santana featuring her (I still remember watching the music video). Late primary school years and early secondary school, I started to listen to music through radio, purchasing CDs, printing songs lyrics and watching music videos in YouTube. Until I picked up guitar when I was 14, proving my love towards music. 

Woahhh. What those had to do with a date I would love to go on?

Inspiring, beautiful YUNAlis Zarai

Music. Yes. I've always wanted to go to Yuna's intimate showcase one day. Actually, she's having her showcase in Malaysia right at this moment, #YunaLullabies. Man, I'm at Penang, she's at Selangor and as a student, with final exam's drawing near, of course I can't make it to her showcase. 

Oh right, a date. I'm sorry for those distractions (the word 'date' just sometime sounds so alien to me). A perfect date for me would be sitting beside 'my date', listening to Yuna's jazzy, classy, lush music, sipping coffee and savoring that moment. Then after the showcase's over, we would go stargazing, while having deeper conversation (okay that's Yuna's song title, fyi), NO. We would go midnight shopping at Big Bad Wolf because we really really love books (I wish he loves books, whoops no, he HAS to love books). 

That's it. Poof. My imaginary date is gone.