tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52713918980640776572024-03-13T04:20:50.520-07:00HER.Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.comBlogger163125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-13344969074099046182018-05-24T17:01:00.000-07:002018-05-24T17:11:00.575-07:00<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I know it sounds absurd that I used to be scared (not really a quite accurate adjective to describe it) of - cooking. And the only person who understood that without judging me was my secondary school friend. We used to be so close and she's the kind of person who listens to my problems without being judgmental. But these days we kind of drift apart because she sucks at replying messages and keeping in touch (she made it very clear about that so no hard feelings).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Alright back to the main topic, I used to hate myself (still do) because I was bad at it and I did nothing to improve for some reasons. The reasons might be my ego and the people around me. I received a lot of backlash, hurtful comments that hurt my pride and those things did not make me want to improve my cooking skill though. They were very insulting and I did not know what's gotten into me but all I wanted to react was by NOT improving my cooking skill because that would mean that I succumbed to their ideas that women have to know how to cook. They did not make it a big deal if men don't so it irritated me in a way. Cooking skill is a survival skill, not a skill that all women have to be interested in order to get married whatsoever, that's what I thought (and think).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The voices slow down these days and I try not to let them get into my head and heart. For God's sake, I'm 23. I don't want to overthink petty things that would restrain me from growing. I'm proudly say that I've overcome my 'fear' and I'm doing this for MYSELF and people that I love. </span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-8648454644226644942018-04-22T17:20:00.000-07:002018-04-22T17:25:59.261-07:00<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">She's strong. But she's exhausted.</span><br />
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Is it selfish that for once, all I've ever wanted is to fall into pieces and rely on someone who is stronger than me?<br />
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<br />Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-92010991193530872922017-01-04T18:41:00.000-08:002017-01-04T18:41:31.861-08:00of sleeping in and life<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have a bad habit of sleeping in</span>. I definitely have no problem waking up early for Subuh's prayer. Waking up early is not a big deal at all honestly. But then I tend to feel the need to go back to sleep. During holiday, I can sleep legit for more than 10 hours. I slept around 11pm that night, woke up at 6am for prayer, then continued to sleep until 11am. Then I woke up feeling terrible and hate myself for surrendering to sleep.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Every semester I always wish that I could form a new habit of NOT sleeping in after the prayer and I can get ready for morning workout (pilates or jogging) afterward. Because last time I did those routine, I felt so productive and energetic the whole day. But then again, like a cycle, I regressed to my bad habit. <span style="font-size: large;">SLEEPING IN. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I was definitely on top of my game during my foundation year. I did not sleep in at all during weekend (mind you, don't even talk about weekdays, the classes were 8 to 5). I STUDIED outside of the hostel room. yeap. I STUDIED instead of sleeping in. I studied those subjects that I detest the most (math, bio, phy, chem). At that time, I had strong motivation and pressure to maintain my result and get out of the college. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But now, I admit that I'm hitting the rock bottom and take everything for granted. I know that I always talk about this quite frequently lately. I'm already halfway on my 3rd year of doing this yet at some points, I lost my motivation and purpose. This is what I've always wanted and now I'm still questioning it. I've always wanted to teach English but considering my efforts (which are lacking, fyi) right now, I'm not sure if I am capable of doing it in the future. Worst of all, I'm currently dealing with anxiety. I have no one to turn to, nor that I want to rely on anyone (because I find talking about my problems to anyone would make things worse). Hence I find peace by seeking guidance from God, exercising as my form of anti-depressant and spending a lot of time to reflect.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And I want to start a new habit that does not include sleeping in. I've tried it for the past two days and I've never felt so good and refreshed. Wake up, pray, sip coffee, go for morning run and have breakfast. Then I take a quick nap right before Zohor prayer. InsyaAllah I'll try my best to maintain this habit. It won't be easy and I might fall prey into my bad habit but I promise to keep trying. Changing my bad habit might just be a life-changing experience, won't it?</span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-32004005758706456732016-11-30T06:30:00.003-08:002016-11-30T07:42:19.053-08:00Inner Demons<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Sometime I hear voices telling me that I shouldn't be doing that because that's not me even though 'that' refers to positive thing. Sometime I give in to that voices. Sometime I disobey them. When I get mad at someone/something, I can feel my blood is boiling and my face is flushing with pent-up anger. My intention often being misinterpreted because I speak in high pitch (so they all thought that I'm angry ALL THE TIME). Sometime those voices make me question others sincerity. Sometime they turn me into a judgmental bitch. Sometime they lure me to speak carelessly. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The thing is, who am I to blame 'them' when 'they' are a part of me? They are my inner demons. I would runaway from them and surrender when I'm weak. I would face and fight them when my faith is restored. God, I'm just a human. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It's an endless battle, I know. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-44017541656431517602016-10-13T07:58:00.002-07:002016-10-13T07:58:53.144-07:00Comfort Zone<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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I think that I can relate to this (refer to the picture above), a lot. In fact, I've seen a lot of my friends do amazing things once they're willing to break out of their comfort zones. It's not easy, but it's worth it. </span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">f we're staying in our comfort zones, we'll become stagnant in a way, right? Even Cassey Ho (my favourite pilates instructor) said, "Make yourself feel uncomfortable, every day," (something like that haha). </span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In my past experience, I've tried a lot of new things, challenging myself, and that's when I discovered my passion. If I didn't try, I wouldn't discover it. You know what they say, don't wait for opportunity, create it. Whenever I feel the urge to do something so bad, I'll visualize the whole thing in my head and find the opportunity to get what I want. Trust me, it works. I have this strong feeling, deep inside, there's this voice telling me that I'm going to seize it and the only way to make it becomes reality is by acting upon it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I don't know what's going on with me lately, is it because of the intoxicating latte I sipped, oral presentation that I think I aced it (insyaAllah), being able to do the opening of a dance performance or ... the fact that for the first time I answered this extrovert vs introvert quiz in class just now, I scored - EXTROVERT. That quiz's result is invalid, for sure. It's Buzzfeed, y'all. I'm certain that 70% of me is leaning towards INTROVERT lol. But the quiz's result somehow changes my perception. I could try to leave my comfort zones. I should try overcoming my fears. I don't have social anxiety, I'm just socially awkward. I think too much about what I say and how it affects me or them. I rely on my extroverted company (note: I call them extrovert because they're the opposite of the word 'awkward') too much. I let them feel superior over me by letting them do all the talking/meeting other people and I hide behind their back just because I can. It's easier to let the thoughts flew by rather than expressing them in words. I'm stuck in my own comfort zone for years. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Until one day, one of my extroverted companies made fun of me being socially awkward. Of course it hurts like hell. I shed some tears in the bathroom and went out like I didn't feel affected by those words. I'm too comfortable being quiet so much that I've let my guard down in front of them. The truth is, I hate being awkward. But I can't help it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">These days, I have no idea what's gotten into me, but somehow everyday, there would always be strangers smiling at me and guess what? It's infectious. I could wear a smile and talk to the barista without looking at my feet (the atmosphere was less awkward). Baby steps. I don't want to hide behind the privilege of being an introvert just to avoid social interactions where ......... amazing things might just happen. </span></div>
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Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-68472800772944317642016-10-06T07:06:00.000-07:002016-10-06T07:06:23.113-07:00Everything Is Blue<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My favourite sight. This photo was captured by me at Windmills, Perhentian island.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm exhausted. But I'm not complaining. I feel so happy to see the dancing (representing latin dance) and swimming (swim lesson) emojis at my timetable. Can't you see how excited I am by mere sight of the emojis?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And oh, in swimming lesson, I'm proud to say that in our slot, I'm the most advanced learner obviously because I know the basic of swimming (not the technique, though). I'm a kampung girl. My Ayah would take my siblings and I to swim at the sea, river and waterfall since we were practically toddlers. We learned how to swim naturally. We played around a lot, for sure. I would compete with my brothers on who-can-hold-the-breath-under-water-for-the-longest-time-win game. My big brother would show me how to act like a starfish underwater saying that in order to it, he has to apply one of the Physics principles (I didn't even begin to learn Physics back then). I remember letting my body float and let the river took me where it wants to. And I guess that's how I taught myself how to back float. Playing dead was my way of self-taught how to front float. So, entering this swimming lesson helps me a lot in learning the right technique. You know, those breast stroke thingy. All this time I just simply move my hands and legs however I want them to be as long as I float and able to move lol and that's what I called swimming. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I guess that explains why I'm so attached to water activities, so much that I plan with my friends for annual trip to islands. Please don't be too alarmed with my sudden updates of my blog. haha. I just feel this urge to blog some random things. I have no idea why. pms kot. </span></div>
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Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-33758504713522351732016-10-03T00:38:00.005-07:002016-10-04T09:22:09.359-07:00Kapas Island<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For some reasons, I'm currently in the mood of blogging, so here we go. Last year, Yah, KayKay, Ain and me went to Perhentian island during semester break. We became friends during pre U USM foundation year. We thought of making the trip for our batch friends but um, not everyone is interested I guess. So I invited my sister and cousin whereas KayKay invited her sister. That's that. The place was beautiful even though we were not satisfied with the accommodation but meh, let bygones be bygones. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So this year, I uploaded a throwback photo of our trip, without expecting any upcoming island trip. Then Yah commented and suggested us to go to the island again. I brought our Whatsapp group 'came back to live' lol and called it 'Ke Pulau Ke Kita 2.0' and invited more friends. Ain suggested Kapas island. Then we're like, "Why not? So let's do this". Yah is an amazing leader, negotiator and communicator haha so she did all the talking to the trip package agent. Few weeks passed, then we've reached Kapas island for a 3D2N trip. I was so ecstatic. There's nothing more pleasing than being able to feast my eyes on the blue blue seawater and swimming like there's no tomorrow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We departed to Kapas island at Marang jetty. Oh right, Kapas island is located at Terengganu, of course. Terengganu has wonderful beaches and islands. One of the reasons why I'm proud to be anak Terengganu.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is the place where we stay for 2 nights. Highly recommended. The food is delish. The room is clean and comfy.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The girls named this as 'stairway to heaven'.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the best attractions, in my personal opinion, is how we can go to the other side of the island by climbing the stairs. As a self-claimed wanderer, I got excited whenever I saw the stairs because it makes me wonder how's the beach going to look like on the other side. While they were so into capturing photos and all, I could not wait to climb the stairs to get to the other sides. On our 1st day, after settling down, unpacking those bags, we went to discover those beautiful beaches and have a memorable girls talk.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I don't care even if my skin was tan, I felt so happy. I just couldn't stop swimming even when it was 12 pm.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Day 2 is the day we went snorkelling. Oh well, the day I anticipated the most. We had 2 snorkelling trips which were from 10 am - 12 pm and 3 pm - 5 pm. On our first snorkelling point, Jane hesitated to go into the water mainly because it was her first time so she felt quite insecure and all. Then we all went snorkelling without her and when I approached KayKay and Syafa, they told me..</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: purple; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">KK: Do you feel something sharp penetrating your feet?</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">S: Yeah, it feels as if the seawater is somewhat sharp like needles.</span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">W: Nope, I don't feel anything. Perhaps it's because I'm wearing socks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then, I felt this deep sting on my two hands. Yeah, it's true, the seawater was 'sharp'. There were like a bunch of little needles in the seawater. It hurts. I even got some scratches but I ignored them and dunked my head into the water to see those fish and corals. When we got into the boat, </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">S: Those foreigners were saying that there were a lot of baby jellyfish in the water. </span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">W: What? I really thought that the seawater was literally ... sharp. I had no idea that it was because of baby jellyfish all this time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yeap, those babies stung us. Ain got a lot of rashes after that but they were harmless, so Alhamdulillah everything's good. </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yah, the cat lover, kept questioning how did those cats get to be in this island? Did someone took them here from the mainland or what?</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">An unexpected thing happened on our 2nd night there. That night, we were so exhausted after two trips of snorkelling, hence we went to hit the sack early. Then at 12 am, all of us were awoken by the eerie sound of harsh wind. It was so creepy. It sounded like a bunch of girls went gaga and screaming their lungs out. Hajar went to grab our swimming outfits, hanging on the veranda. I was so scared to even help her so I just closed my eyes and recite prayer quietly. We tried to sleep, praying that everything would be fine tomorrow. It makes me realize that as a servant, whenever things get rough and we need something to hold onto, we would always turn to Allah. The words, "O Allah" would reflexively escape from our mouths whenever we face hardship, don't we? As a firm believer of Allah, we pray to Allah for protection. Then it makes me wonder, what would an atheist do or say in this similar situation when he/she doesn't even believe in higher power? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The next morning, we went to search for the remaining outifts that Hajar couldn't manage to grab. I lost my favourite black shawl. Yes, I mourned for the lost of my new, favourite shawl. So devastating, I told you. It's black. It's black. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On our last day, we went rock climbing and hiking. The journey took 3 hours. It was quite challenging. The rock could be sharp, wet and slippery. And the final hiking to get to see the view as the photo above was so steep. I freaked out a bit while trying to keep it cool. haha. The trails were rough, our staminas were running empty but Alhamdulillah we did it. You know the drill, life's a climb but the view is great. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thank you for making it happen. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I couldn't thank God enough for letting me meet this amazing bunch.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And of course, I edited a video to keep these precious moment forever. The footages are all from my Note 2 phone, Yah's SJ Cam and Hajar's iPhone so I'm kinda proud of the outcome despite the fact that I'm not using my camera. Enjoy!</span></div>
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Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-77988950682464129142016-10-02T21:56:00.000-07:002016-10-06T07:18:29.092-07:00What doesn't kill you makes you stronger<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hello there,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm on my 5th week of 5th semester. Life's good. I've always had this hunch that if I tell my plan/goal to my friends, I might just somehow not going to be able to hit that goal. Jinx? I don't know. But I'm a person who holds to her words (at least I'm trying to). I'm not going to say things that I'm not going to do. Because ones who keep saying they're going to do this and that and then ending up not doing anything about it are my pet peeves. Mann, if you can't do it, don't throw your words carelessly saying that you're going to do it. Heh.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue", arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Today I'm just going to share my progress, I guess. No matter how skinny my friends think I am, I don't feel skinny nor fat. I embrace my body. The thing is, my family members label me as somewhat fat. Yeah I'm the tallest (among the girls) and my figure is quite huge compared to them. But I'm sick of them telling me I'm fat whenever I took a selfie, exposing my chubby cheeks. Sure, I have the biggest appetite, but well my height is 162 cm and they barely reach 160 cm. Of course I need more energy aka carbo. I don't want to go back to being skinny when I was 12 when my height was 160 cm and my weight was .... 39 kg (I'm 50 kg now). Heck no. I suppose they're not going to stop saying I'm fat until I lose 10 kg (which I won't unless I suffer from some illness or depression). So yeah, I stop feeding them with my attention. In other words, they can say what they want, but I'm too busy trying to impress myself by breaking my own records.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This semester, I took Latin dance class and swimming clinic to fill up my free time. I have to attend the dance class twice a week and swimming lesson once a week. So if I'm not dancing, I'll be doing Pilates. If I'm not swimming, I'll be hitting my running shoes. I used to walk (literally just WALK) around USM at least twice a week on previous semester. I'm proud of myself because now I can feel my progress of being able to jog + run + walk around USM now. At first it was a torture to jog uphill (if you've been to USM, you'll probably know how the route is like), but yesterday, for the first time, I could feel the progress of my body based on how long I could sustain the 'pain'. Now, everyday, I would always anticipate to end my day by working out just so I could indulge the blissful feeling of the first sip of water, night shower and the first bite of my dinner afterwards. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I just want to feel stronger and healthier each day. Say no to being lazy bum. Haha. Keep your mouth shut and JUST DO IT. </span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-63165962882404132852016-07-23T07:14:00.001-07:002016-07-23T07:28:35.182-07:00Purrfect<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> So I've spent hours editing the Cat Family Tree because I need to get it out of my head. There are so many of them and I've been counting them in my head. For some reasons, I need to see them all mapped out on a visual material. Haha. Hot Mama gave birth for the fourth time last week. The kittens are just so precious. All of them have different colours and patterns. Throughout this week, we've lost 4 kittens. I don't want to go detail about their deaths because well, it upsets me. And the fact that Xoro is not home for the first time today makes it worse. Where did you go, Xoro? He's not the type to wander around even for a day :(</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I still remember back then, I was never a cat lover. They're cute and that's that. When I was sitting for final examination during my Science foundation year, a cat actually sat on my Physics paper when I went for toilet break. To be honest, I didn't have a single experience of lifting/hugging a cat. So when I saw the cat on my table, I freaked out. Everyone was too busy answering the questions to help me. So there I was, talking to the cat, begging it to leave me (my Physics paper, to be exact) alone. At that moment, I wished the guy behind me (who was a cat lover, I suppose) would bother to help me, but alas, nobody even gave a damn. But I can feel the stares from my friends of course. It was so embarrassing. God, cat was so troublesome, that's what I thought.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I don't know man, what about this beautiful creatures that got me attached. They can be sneaky, needy and all, but I'm stoked. My first love would always be Putih. Isn't it weird that the ones that you love would always ignore you, but the ones that you don't would be all over you? Putih does not really fond skinship, I guess. He always ignores me. Unlike Stubby, who would always follow me even when I told him to go away. He's too clingy haha</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">One thing that I've noticed from Hot Mama was, during mealtime, she would let her children eat until they're full and only then she'll eat. She's a good mother. Why Hot Mama? There was an incident when she would shamelessly lie down and expose her belly in the middle of a garden party we held last year. My friends and I were chatting and laughing and all, suddenly she appeared with her jiggly, sexy body (post giving birth) and asked for belly rub from us. Then my sister called her Hot Mama.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Well unlike regular household with cats as pets, they tend to let their pets enter their houses right? But in my case, my parents wouldn't allow that. Mom wouldn't be happy with cats fur on her carpets. Dad wouldn't even stand the mess. But whenever we were away from home, my mom would say things like, "Hmm what do the cats eat at home, now?". Haha she still cares. Whereas until now, my father would cook rice and fish to feed those cats. He's in charge of the feeding part and my sister and I are in charge of the playing part hehe</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Most of the cats in the photos are actually no longer alive. I'd like to think that they're somewhere nice and pleasant, you know something like heaven or paradise. These are my favourite photos that my sister and I managed to capture.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I believe that there are reasons why God let them come into our home. They are Rasulullah SAW favourite animal after all. Plus I've read that it is actually sunnah to keep cats and insyaAllah by doing it, we are being rewarded. Don't you think it's a good news to every cat lover out there? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">One of the moments that my sister would reminisce is when Cookie was suddenly giving birth. She was so young. My sister was trying so hard to deny the fact that Cookie was pregnant when her belly suddenly getting big. She wanted to believe that Cookie was just overeating. But no, she was totally pregnant! Well in 'human form', Cookie is like a pregnant 13-year-old girl haha. She was a baby to us. But then her children are lovely. Smoothie is such a cool, chill, cute baby and CooJun is very hyperactive and she has Cookie's eyes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">They bring out the best inner traits in us. They've taught us compassion, patience and love. All in all, they're a part of our happines. Adopt a cat, now!</span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-61363815278011728852016-07-21T01:59:00.000-07:002016-07-22T20:30:57.603-07:00Rant, no?<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hello there,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am no longer swimming in the pile of assignments. I am currently succumbing to a lot of uncertainties in the middle of watching tons of weekly Korean dramas and regretting those wasted times wishing I chose to read books instead of facing my laptop. But then watching complex Korean dramas is not a bad thing. My friend and I actually spend time whatsapp-ing to each other to discuss about the issues, characters, plot (and fangirling) of the dramas and movies. Yeah we do analyse them (especially when we're still having the so-called hangover effect after watching them). haha. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are so many books left unread on my shelves and I stuck with Jodi Picoult's Leaving Time because I forgot to mark the last page that I've read (I was so confident that I'll remember it by heart, but then I stopped reading it for a month, so... ). But sure, with 40 days ++ left for my semester break, I'll catch up on my reading. Whenever I wake up in the morning, I would face my bookshelves (literally), so the reminder to read books is inevitable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The most productive thing I've done so far might be ... editing poster. haha. I was offered to be a part of a graphic team of a society in USM called Kampus Sejahtera. They're all about going green and preserve the environment. I was in charge of multimedia thingy when I was in St. John and I guess, I still can't get over of it. Ohh did I tell you that I have 'graduated' from St. John? Two years sure fly fast! </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Right after I 'graduated' from St. John, the leader of the graphic team offered me to be a part of the team for the next semester. Then I just agreed because why not? Well, at least I can edit some posters during holiday! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">FYI, my camera suffered 'lens error' for the past few months. I've sent it to the Nikon's centre. And it might takes months. MONTHS. I've skipped May, June and July videos (I posted monthly videos in my YouTube channel) due to the 'lens error' condition of my camera. Now I have to wait months to get my camera back. Ugh. But um, considering the fact that my blog is so outdated, I might just write some #throwback posts inspired by the photos that I took using my camera. My writing skill is rusty, so let's do this!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I really really have nothing much to do and it's driving me crazy. Trust me, I'm actually anticipating the day when I'll be back at USM. Students life is just so lively compared to staying at home. Can't believe I just said that, but I did.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-49372421088333352622016-05-19T09:42:00.000-07:002016-05-19T10:13:06.822-07:00Silence<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I've always known that Allah is the best listener. But I tend to express my happiness and sadness to His creations. And I'm so disappointed with them because they don't understand me. I make an effort to respond to their words and expressions (even my friend said that she was thankful that I always respond to her even when the others don't haha) but they don't even bother to respond to me. When they talk, even if they are interrupted, I would ask them to resume their story. But in my case, my story ended after they interrupt me with pointing out those distractions. God I'm tired of not being heard. I'm tired of making an effort when others don't. I'm tired of being told to speak slowly when I raise the volume. I'm tired of being told to smile and be more friendly. When I didn't speak, you told everyone that I forgot to bring my mouth. When I was so excited to tell stories and raised the volume of my voice, you acted like you were embarrassed of me because others could hear my words.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Maybe it's my fault after all. I might overlook my mistakes towards them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">God, I've always known that you listen to me and understand me. You're the creator of my heart. You understand. There's no others.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Perhaps, silence is the best thing to do. Because in silence, I find solace. In silence, I confide to God. </span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-16628430858461785162016-04-08T07:54:00.001-07:002016-04-08T07:54:37.611-07:00The Real<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I just sent my power point presentation part to my course mate. It only took me an hour and half to finish it but I had been procrastinating it for days. Silly me. Grow up. Well, it's a mid-semester break, what do you expect? </span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Every time I feel the urge to sigh or complaint as I'm completing my assignments, I would always remind myself that I'm loving what I'm doing. I keep saying to myself, "I've always wanted to learn linguistic" , "Learning animation aka flash SHOULD be interesting and I'm supposed to feel thrilled," and "Editing poster is my ultimate hobby,". Alhamdulillah. I should always remind myself to be grateful for this bliss. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is random but these days, I can't help to binge-watching THE REAL clips in YouTube. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I recognize Jeannie as the lively, energetic host from How Do I Look? . I just admire her way of spreading positive vibes to the guests in the show. Then I saw Adrienne, a flash of The Cheetah Girls song occurred to me. Yes, that's simply because she was one the Cheetah Girls. She's a fierce, gorgeous Latina woman. Ugh she's so gorgeous I just can't describe it further. FYI, Tamera has a twin sister where both of them starred as Alex and Cam in Disney's Twitches. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What I love about this talk show is that they're so genuine, witty and so ... REAL. Upon watching the clips, they make me feel like I'm prying into a group of girls who are having a deep conversation aka girls talk during a sleepover party. They share secrets, give advices, shed some tears and laugh out loud (duh). They're not afraid to be open to each other (and not to mention, the audience). Well, I've watched several talk shows, but The Real is the most realistic and relatable. They're practically sisters!</span></div>
Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-30728843205436842692016-03-25T07:14:00.001-07:002016-03-25T07:14:48.350-07:00Now<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hello there, it's been a while.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm approaching halfway of my semester, yeay! Mid-semester break is getting closer (next weekend, to be exact). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So far, I've suffered designer's block few times (where I could stare into the Adobe Photoshop software for hours without getting any posters done), managed to ace 3 presentations in 2 weeks, learned new things about flash, recorded a lot of videos, captured a lot of photos, splurged in Converse clearance sale, ate Sushi King's Bento almost every week, goes for evening walk (6-8 km) at least twice a week and watched several live acoustic shows and theaters. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There's something about the evening walk. I would normally start walking around 5.30 PM until 7 PM. I just walked and walked around USM, wandering aimlessly (nay, I set my target and direction mentally). There's something about walking on my own while listening to some music. I met random people. Then we said hello and talked randomly. But that's not the whole point. I'm actually training my self-confidence (walking alone and IDGAD what they think about me), endurance and sense of alertness. I used to train myself not to look people on the eyes and listen to the words uttered by strangers. I practiced 'ignorance' for years (for some reasons I can't tell you why). So, this might be the time that I can practise to acknowledge people around me (Sometime my friends are offended when they say 'Hi' but I don't respond because I don't notice them). And I love the serenity but I try not to let it goes my way. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, I got hit by a motorcycle once when I was crossing the road. Thanks God it was just a minor bruise on my leg. It happened because I did not see nor hear the motorcycle behind me (I plugged my earphones, listening to Kehlani of course). I've learned my lesson. I'll try to be more careful/alert next time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Oh right, I know that March is about to come to an end, but here's a video to sum up my February. </span><br />
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<br />Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-9618607070123980442016-02-14T21:41:00.000-08:002016-02-14T22:30:11.951-08:00Blessing in a disguise?<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I just got here (USM) after a morning flight. Something unexpected happened when I opened my door. I was not expecting a roommate because I knew she was in internship. So nope, not roommate. I expected the room to be empty.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I opened the door, with my guitar, hanging on my shoulder, I saw 'THIS' right in front of my eyes. What the heck is that? I just wanted to rest. I was sweaty for crying out loud. Penang is real hot.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My first instinct was insisting me to cut down the whole hanging thing. But then I thought about the flying insects that might ambush me for destroying their so-called home. What if they sting me while I sleep. What if? What if? I was so stressed. There are hundreds of other windows, but why they (whatever they are) chose to be here. Why me?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While I was walking to the cafe to buy my lunch, I was thinking about why God put me through this. Why me? Why me? Then this thought came across my mind. I'm sure I've read it somewhere and it sounds like this: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">If you didn't complain and ask 'why me?' to God when it's you're the one who receives excellent grades, outstanding achievement and happiness, then do NOT feel disappointed and ask 'why me?' when you're feeling burdensome, sad and depressed while others don't. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then I heard a bird sounds. Then I saw this cute, yellow, little bird came out of it. It turned out to be a bird's nest. I sighed of relief. Alhamdulillah.</span></div>
Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-42507950151627835012016-02-11T09:00:00.000-08:002016-02-14T21:41:11.527-08:00I'm 21 and she's married<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I was officially 21 on 7th Feb 2016. God, I still feel like 19. I don't even want to be 20. That so-called golden age kind of intimidated me. Most adults would always say that 20s is the BEST time of our lives. But what if, mine happens to be quite mundane, dull or worse, stagnant? I'm feeling stagnant honestly (in various aspects). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">'</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 20.2222px;">God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young.</span><wbr style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 20.2222px;"></wbr><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 20.2222px;"> ... But are we all </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #6a6a6a; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20.2222px;">lost stars</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 20.2222px;">, trying to light up the dark? - Lost Stars by Keira Knightley</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We're young, clueless, dreamers, bursting with energy, burning with passion in our eyes and dreaming of thousands of possibilities. But why we're wasting the youth on the young? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Oh, right. My sister was officially someone's wife on 7th February 2016. They met around 7 years ago and somehow I can say there was 'spark' from there on. haha. And now, here we go, they're officially married. And there's me, 21 and single (not that I'm complaining). </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">omg they look like sisters!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This frame is wayyyy better than typical guestbook that would most probably be left unread.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeap I designed this for this avid runners/hikers couple.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And.......... here's a video!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I don't know man, the preparation for this wedding (not marriage) seems so 'leceh'. I was never a fan of wedding, I guess. Yes, I've attended countless weddings (being flower girls and 'pengapit' since I was 4) and back then, I kind of anticipated of sitting on the grand dais with my significant one like 'raja sehari'. But then now, after knowing how much money my parents and my sister 'sacrificed' for the sake of this wedding (it's not even THAT grand), I was utterly flabbergasted. All that for a WEDDING? I rather spend it for marriage. Everything is costly now, I don't feel like getting married. pffft</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I respect Margo (from Paper Town) for her strong will to break free from the stereotype that people are expected to one day get into college, secure a job and settle down in a marriage. She refuses to live that way. She's a free soul, she's still wondering and wandering. She's excited for what's next. She does not let that typical people expectation get in her way. Well, that's amazing even though I've never actually met people like Margo in real life. I wish I am as brave as her to lead my life the way I want to instead of letting people bugging me (about marriage, job, etc). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Well, in my case, it's easy to say that I don't set marriage as a part of my life journey because I haven't found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, let alone fall in love. But still, I regard marriage as a journey which is not meant for everyone and it's not a destination. Who knows, death might be closer to me? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My priority are upgrading myself, finding my passion and feeding my wanderlust before I decide to settle down. Now, I'm 21 and single and lost. But someday, I might be 32 and single and happy and blessed. I hope I can stay strong not to let people judgments to affect my life decision. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">p/s: My brother is giving me the green light to 'langkah bendul' because he's attempting to follow my father's footstep of getting married in his 30s. Ugh, who says I'm planning to get married ASAP? Calm down, bro. You might want to take back your words. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-22931496029693083862016-01-30T09:34:00.000-08:002016-01-30T09:54:19.473-08:00Wildest Dream<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Travel. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Who doesn't want to travel? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As I was scrolling my Instagram feed, I saw few school friends who are currently studying overseas posting a bunch of photos. I don't have to explain what kinds of photos they post, right? You know the drill. Snow. Exquisite panorama. Foreigner friends. Historical monuments. Delicacies. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I love seeing those photos. There's no slightest envious feeling arouse in me honestly. Mainly because I never truly dream of studying overseas. I did apply to study TESL in New Zealand, expecting straight A's would ease the application (I didn't apply other scholarships because they did not offer my preference course), but uh, I didn't get the offer. Alhamdulillah, because I believe Allah's plan is always better than mine. For some reasons, I rather dream of travelling overseas rather than studying.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm not choosy. I don't dream of going to Paris, because even a trip to Hatyai would excite me. It's a perk of NOT simply being able to travel outside of Malaysia (because I can't afford it or I'm not trying hard enough to grasp the opportunity) makes me appreciate the value and the moments of being in places away from home. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If I have a lot of cash right now, I'll plan a journey to somewhere (nope, won't tell you) or maybe I won't plan, I'll just go instead. This feeling of wanderlust is overwhelming. I feel like travelling, wandering on my own. I know as a woman, I should be accompanied whenever I'm off to somewhere, but um, I rather be on my own. I don't want to talk with anyone. I don't want to entertain you. I don't want to listen to your complaint about how uncomfortable the toilet in the cheap hotel. I just want to walk for miles, drinking in the view (pffff I'm influenced by the poem by Robert Frost called Stopping By the Woods), sipping in the nonchalant atmosphere, getting lost in the moment of chaos and indulging the cultures. I feel like I'm missing out a lot of things by not travelling and leaving my comfort zone. Yeap, I'm 20 and young but I should start planning, right?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Perhaps one day, I could look back on this day when I wrote this post, and reflected that I used to have this wildest dream of going to travel somewhere. Then I would breathe a sigh of satisfaction because I made it happen. insyaAllah. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-36267328947998649942016-01-25T09:54:00.000-08:002016-09-14T21:21:41.307-07:00Colours<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Whenever my mom goes for vacation with my father, she would come home with tons of souvenirs. I have an older sister and a younger sister, so, she would buy similar clothes for us with distinct patterns. Their (my sisters) outfits' patterns would ALWAYS be the normal, ordinary, simple looking ones which is completely different from mine. Last time, my mom went to Hatyai and bought us pants. Their pants' colours are black and brown with flower, artsy patterns respectively. Mine? HAHA. You bet. It's a COLOURFUL, RAINBOW-ISH pants. Very vibrant. I also remember that she also bought me a pair of Bob-Marley-ish-colours pants which is very very colourful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Me: Mom, why do you always buy me some very colourful, odd looking pants?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Mom: In Hatyai, when I went to shop for souvenirs, I came across the colourful pants that you're wearing now. But I didn't buy it yet. I went to survey other souvenirs in somewhere else. But then I remembered you. A flash of your face occurred to me when I thought about the pants. Hence, I walked all the way back to the shop that sold the pants which was quite far. I was willing to walk that far because I thought about you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Me: *speechless (then find out that mom did not really answer my question)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Guess my style is just simply unique and different. Thanks, mom.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She bought this Bob Marley ish pants at Pasar Payang, Kuala Terengganu.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">oh right, maybe I might as well share a little bit of my photos in Perhentian Island. I've reached 20 years old, but I've never been to that island even though a car ride to the jetty takes only 7 minutes from my home. Hah. So I went there with my girls friends, a sister and a cousin last year during our semester break.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Here's a video of us in Perhentian Island. Due to copyrighted issue, you can only watch it through your laptop, not smartphones :(</span></div>
Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-12025558169374184622016-01-11T06:14:00.000-08:002016-01-11T06:14:21.532-08:00Of Friends and Escapism<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In less than 11 hours from now, I will encounter a literature paper in the examination hall (obviously). But, of course, I choose to blog instead of reviewing the poems tonight.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">our little rendezvous~</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The thing is, I can't wait to answer the paper and then 'escape' with a good friend of mine (you know who you are). We tend to go out (A LOT) whenever we're ravenous, bored or stressed. We both are fascinated with the ideas of the word - introverts. Despite the fact that we're both introverts, she would do most of the talking (call for delivery, talk to strangers mostly) because I wouldn't (social anxiety hits me). Because we're so quiet in class, but secretly we talk about bizarre things (most people wouldn't expect that) to each other. Our frequent visits to the books stores is healing. Obviously, we love books and .... movies. There is no awkward silence between us. Silence is good - as long as there's music! Sometime we would argue, most of the times because I get offended easily. Then everything would be fine. That's normal, I guess. I don't want a shallow, fake friendship where we just smile and talk nice things and that's it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I don't have a lot of friends. That does not mean that I'm a bad person (get to know me first before judging me yes please). Perhaps making friends is not my forte. I can count how many close friends I have. I value them and I still keep in touch with them. I gain some. I even lose some. Once they stop making an effort to keep in touch with me (you know like do not even bother to meet me, talk to me or reply my messages) I would stop too. If you can't even keep up a conversation with me, why do we even call ourselves as best friends? I'm thankful for those who stay. The fact that you can bear with my attitude is a-ma-zing! </span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-81843337027836973132016-01-03T07:00:00.001-08:002016-01-03T07:00:54.688-08:00Our Times in Paper Towns<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hello there,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm still in exam week, and currently I'm preparing for the linguistic paper (which you know I'm NOT cause I'm blogging pfffff). 3 papers left before I get to end this third semester. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I've always wanted to watch the movies Paper Town and Our Times and so I did. I expected Paper Towns to be lame because of its trailer lol (what's with the main guy obsessing over a girl, ugh, he's so delusional). Whereas I gave high expectation towards Our Times cause Valarie enthusiastically said that the Taiwan movie is not exactly Cliche' and there's something MORE than just typical high school love story.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Heck, expectation often leads to disappointment. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Paper Towns is simply amazing. Infatuation might drives you to create a fantasy image of the girl/boy you like. But then again, at the end of the day, the person that you adore is just a HUMAN. And if you're hoping that your miracle/happiness begins when you meet your other half, you might be wrong. Your miracle might be right in front of you, but you left them unnoticed. In this movie (<span style="color: red;">WARNING: SPOILER</span>), the protagonist realizes that his miracle was not the girl, but his moments with his best friends (bromance alert). The ending was beautiful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And Our Times? </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I like this scene (to the point I screenshot and edited it lol). There's a special connection right there, can't they see it? grrrr</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sadly, it's a typical boy-bullies-girl-ends-up-falling-for-each-other-but-it-was-too-late kind of movie. Few scenes were quite similar to the popular Thailand movie, First Love. I enjoyed the movie, yes, but I expected something more meaningful than just that. (<span style="color: red;">WARNING: SPOILER</span>) What does the main guy expect really? He confessed to the main girl right after he left, because he thought she was in love with another guy. He wanted her to be happy, huh. If you want her to be happy with another guy, why did u confess to her at the end, what's the point? Ugh. Was he blind? It was so obvious they were into each other. Gosh, it was so frustrating to watch those kind of movies. hahahahaha. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Alright now excuse me, I drank too much Green Tea, therefore frequent visits to the toilet is a must.</span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-61709737345290666672015-12-28T07:39:00.000-08:002015-12-28T07:39:20.397-08:00YouTube?<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">People take me seriously. I take people seriously. And worse, I take myself seriously. I even warned them that I am 'terlalu serius'. Yeah that sucks because when people make jokes, I take them seriously. And I refuse to laugh at stupid jokes (in other words, I wouldn't fake my laughs). God, I need to loosen up a bit. I need to learn how to wear a SMILE when I'm under pressure. Calm down girl. Calm down. Fuh.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Tomorrow, I have to catch a 8.30 AM flight to Penang :(</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Time sure flies fast when I'm at home sobsssss</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My new YT profile header~</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So recently I've read a blog post from <a href="http://anisnadhi.blogspot.my/2015/12/essenas-quitting-social-media.html" target="_blank">Anis</a>. She's a good friend of mine. We used to form a dancing duo (HAHA) when we were both 15. Now she's studying International Relation at Aussie and I just met her last Tues (after 5 years OMG finally). She's an amazing writer so yeah, I wouldn't miss even a single blog post. Oh right, regarding her latest blog post, 'Essena's quitting social media', I admire her boldness at stating her point of view about it (I personally admire her last sentence *wink). I've read an article on the web about Essena before coming across Anis's blog post but I was never one of her Instagram/Youtube followers. I watched her video (where she announced her so-called quitting social media), watched her friends' responses and just now I watched Bribry and Candice 2015 montage. Oh wait, I'm not going to elaborate about Essena's quitting social media because she thinks it is fake. This is not about her. It's about ME. ME. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">FYI, Essena, social media is awesome and I guess thanks to you, it occurs to me that tonight, I feel inspired to record more videos, edit them and upload them into YouTube. I created my YouTube account since 2008 for uploading dancing videos purpose. Mind you, I'm still dancing, but I'm not going to upload dancing videos anymore alright.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I really really love recording videos, capturing moments and editing them by highlighting the good parts (and the ugly parts because I'm REAL). Therefore, I decide to record my moments and upload them monthly into my YT account starting 2016. No harm, right?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And maybe, just maybe, if I can bring myself together, I would upload a video of a book review/haul?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">WISH ME LUCK. BECAUSE I REALLY NEED IT.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-82366401361970971342015-12-25T01:42:00.000-08:002015-12-25T01:42:38.114-08:00What am I doing with my life?<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Next week would be my final exam for this third semester. I'm currently at home, relishing my moments here (this is supposed to be study week but I'm not contributing anything related to the word 'study'). My 25-year-old sister is going to get hitched on my 21st birthday. ugh. Why on my birthday? (It does sound like I'm getting butthurt for being single while my sister is getting married on my 21st birthday, right? haha). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm studying tesol. I'm studying linguistics. I'm studying literature. I even managed to do some (another) acting this semester. The schedule was packed. Even though I must concede that I skipped few classes and screwed the tests, I actually love the subjects. I love the fact that I'm analyzing poetry about death, the narratorial intervention in short stories and yeah even linguistic thingy. I don't care what they say, I still love the subjects. If you don't like the subjects, just keep your mouth shut. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jmC9l8sD53k/Vn0G8RGaooI/AAAAAAAAB8s/0zLozToM1c4/s1600/Pak%2BBelalang%2B%2528poster%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jmC9l8sD53k/Vn0G8RGaooI/AAAAAAAAB8s/0zLozToM1c4/s400/Pak%2BBelalang%2B%2528poster%2529.jpg" width="285" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">and I designed this poster :p</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d6uRd4PzufQ/Vn0G8PLhCpI/AAAAAAAAB8o/UCfYScN7q8o/s1600/DSC_3143.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="425" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d6uRd4PzufQ/Vn0G8PLhCpI/AAAAAAAAB8o/UCfYScN7q8o/s640/DSC_3143.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">During LeLAC (an English camp organized by USM TESOLians)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> I discovered my new passion for photographing, recording videos and editing. I enjoyed being a part of St John's family where I got the opportunity to design posters. At first, I realized that my design was kind of ... bizarre (I guess?), but then again, I was just trying to experiment, discover and explore various styles. And I loved every moment of it. Now that I own a camera, I decide to optimize the usage by joining any event that required me to capture moments. And it was worth it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But um, after becoming a part of LeLAC's multimedia department for 2nd time, I gave up. Being a part of the team was amazing, but I'm done. I'm the kind of person who respects ideas, sharing and contributions from other people. When people compliment our group work product, I would tend to say, "Yes, this is HER idea, awesome right?". I would give credits to people who deserve it. But then I realize, they don't really acknowledge my contribution. Even when it was my idea in the first place, I feel unappreciated when my team member does not even bother to mention it. Yeap, I know it sounds like I'm craving for attention/credits but of course not. Don't you think that every person who works hard deserves at least an appreciation/recognition, right? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Then I remember that not everyone has the same mindset as I am. We're just simply different.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And I'm still wandering. And wondering. What am I going to do with my life? I want to teach English, (yes, I'm on my way) but at the same time I want to do freelance. I want to inspire. I want to spread the beauty of Islam. I want to discover new things. I want to write stories. I want to travel and write about it in a journal. I want to capture moments. I want to create arts. I want to contribute my presence into world peace. I want to be an editor, designer and writer. I want to publish my own magazine. And the list goes on and on.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What am I doing with my life? I'm living in the moments, wondering and wandering but let's just say I'm not lost because I'm still on my way.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-51064564252975793692015-10-24T08:00:00.000-07:002015-10-24T08:00:09.107-07:00Reflection<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Since I was 12, people would always tell me that I am mature. I have no idea how do they define mature actually. I really don't. Just because I put on serious face (aka resting bitch face) and act seriously so they call me mature? Or is it because I'm quiet most of the times and speak only things I want to make me mature? God, I have no idea. They even surprised when I told them my real age. Because they expected me to be older than I really am.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I don't even know if being labelled as mature is a good thing. Is it a good thing? Or a bad thing? Who cares. I secretly take them as compliment anyway.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now that I'm 20, I feel like I'm restricted from being myself. My truly original self. People expect me to be all nice and kind and sweet. But when they know my anger sometimes overwhelms me, they say my words hurt them (even when I didn't mean to). And when I reveal the crazy side of me, they're ... shocked. But when I act all nice and ethical and mature, they say I make them feel restricted. As if they cannot do bad (or naughty) things in front of me because I'm too ethical. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Oh wow. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now I don't want to give a damn anymore. I'm just going to be me. I get uneasy when you can't throw away your trash properly into the dustbin. I laugh at dirty jokes with my friends out loud. I love uttering good words because they make my friends feel better especially when they confide in me. I would not say anything just so I could avoid awkwardness because I am awkward and raw and real. I would not laugh at stupid jokes because they're not funny at all ugh. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But if you get a problem with my attitude, please say it to my face. Don't go behind my back, shooting an arrow to my heart, then hide your dirty deeds. So immature. Or coward, I must say.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yes my attitude always gets me in trouble. I'm not perfect. So are you. I can tolerate your imperfections, so why can't you tolerate mine? I'm sorry for being emotional but I'm tired of this drama. I'm just going to stay true to myself and focus on my journey to be a better person. Life's too short for that stupid drama. </span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-37459520140431510762015-10-14T08:08:00.001-07:002015-10-14T08:10:53.098-07:00Loud Silence<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">When you're broken,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And nobody can fix that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">When you're afraid of rejection,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">so you don't want to say anything.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">When you're done with being the second choice,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So you walk away and leave.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">When you're tired of being insulted,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So you don't feel like saying anything.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">When you're sick of listening to their complaints about you,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So you keep your mouth shut.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">You act like you're numb with feelings,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Then it all builds up into this pent-up of anger and madness,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Till it bursts and you're broken into pieces,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">But they told you that you're just a crybaby,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You're just being emotional and melancholy,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">When you know you're not.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So you think it's better to shut people out,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Because they continue to disappoint you,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And you can't help but to disappoint them as well.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So you keep hiding,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Crying behind the door,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Because you have no one to turn to,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Worse,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">When you realize,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Home does not feel like home,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Home becomes a mere place not a feeling,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Then you feel unwanted,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">You feel like a nobody.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">You feel so useless.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Then you're doomed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Still, nobody can fix that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">But you. </span><br />
<br />Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-69266915740453083232015-08-17T08:55:00.000-07:002015-08-17T08:59:26.869-07:00Cry Baby<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I guess I am addicted to sadness. When I am alone, I will be consumed of my dark thoughts, then I begin to dive into my painful memories and end up crying. For the same damn thing. If someone saw me in that 'trance' state where I stare blankly into the wall with my wet cheeks, they must have thought that I'm insane. I guess it's an addiction. It's a detoxification (I can say that, can't I?)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Words can hurt me. Say something rude to me, I'll remember it for years. I'm vulnerable like that. I kinda hate myself too. For allowing myself to get offended easily over words but I can't help it. Especially when it comes to physical criticism. I try really hard to restrain myself from criticise someone's physical because I realize that it is a sensitive issue. And rude too. So when I manage not to say anything about others body figure (for instance), I get mad (like really mad) when other people can't even stop themselves from criticise my skin, my lips (yeah I got dry lips for years, even when I drink lots of water) and my body. Fuhh. I might act like I don't give a damn when they said it to my face, but when the door is closed, I shed tears over those hurtful words. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bEnsKdhAh3c/VdIDUhJOOaI/AAAAAAAAByg/cHcMHABxvZw/s1600/tumblr_n17yc7Sgxd1qf9mevo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bEnsKdhAh3c/VdIDUhJOOaI/AAAAAAAAByg/cHcMHABxvZw/s400/tumblr_n17yc7Sgxd1qf9mevo1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Melanie Martinez's music is creepy and disturbing, just the way I like it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can relate this to Melanie Martinez's song called Cry Baby. She wrote that song because it portrays her personality. She is extremely sensitive and tend to be triggered easily which consequently ends in tears. (Oh well she's just like me)</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.3999996185303px; line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">You seem to replace</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">Your brain with your heart</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;">
</span><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"></span></span></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">You take things so hard</span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;">
</span><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">And then you fall apart</span></div>
</span></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; line-height: 19.1428565979004px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"></span><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">You try to explain</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;">
</span><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"></span></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">But before you can start</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;">
</span><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"></span></span></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">Those cry baby tears</span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;">
</span><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">Come out of the dark</span></div>
</span></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; line-height: 19.1428565979004px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"></span><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">Someone's turning the handle</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;">
</span><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"></span></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">To that faucet in your eyes</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;">
</span><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"></span></span></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">They're pouring out</span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;">
</span><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">Where everyone can see</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">You're one of a kind</span></div>
</span></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">And no one understands</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">But those cry baby tears</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;">
</span><span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"></span></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; line-height: 19.1428565979004px;">Keep coming back again</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.3999996185303px; line-height: 19.1428565979004px; text-align: center;">
</span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5271391898064077657.post-29381040288582240192015-07-10T00:45:00.002-07:002015-07-10T00:45:29.082-07:00Attachment<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3umcD0AF-7M/VZ936bU53LI/AAAAAAAABuo/6PMis_R3e10/s1600/tumblr_static_5akp82lxpg8w8ks084gwgk80s.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3umcD0AF-7M/VZ936bU53LI/AAAAAAAABuo/6PMis_R3e10/s400/tumblr_static_5akp82lxpg8w8ks084gwgk80s.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have so many things to do this holiday. But I'm procrastinating. I could lay on my bed, browsing Facebook, YouTube, Instagram and waiting for Years And Years to release their album, Communion (which is today) for hours. What am I doing with my life? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have so many books to read. I need to brush up my Adobe Photoshop skill (because I'm going to spend hours next semester editing poster for every St John's meeting). I should start brainstorming story line for a short story for a book project with my TESOLians friends and lecturer. I was surprised when the lecturer said she liked my short stories included in my assignment for her subject. God, that was unexpected. Because those short stories were ... cheesy, I guess (Honestly, I wrote them when I was in form 5 for my English exam paper and school's magazine). These days, I don't set writing fictions as my priority anymore no matter how much Rainbow Rowell's Fangirl inspired me to start writing again. So pathetic, I know. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's this book that I've always wanted to read. The Music Made Me Do It. I bought it in the first heartbeat (I just had to buy it! Because it relates music in Islam's perspective). At times, I go through the book, stumble upon interesting pages and then unintentionally come to its conclusion. Music is not being approved in this book context. Of course. Being a huge fan of music for years, I admit that it's hard to get rid of this habit of listening to music frequently. I listen to music in the car. I listen to music on my way to class. I listen to music while doing chores. I listen to music while studying. I AM LISTENING TO MUSIC RIGHT NOW. It becomes a part of me. *sigh</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I regard music as my time machine. Whenever I listen to old, outdated but famous songs, I can point out the years the songs came out and my personal moments with them. It's crazy I know but music is my soundtrack. Every moment has its own soundtrack. Sometime, I can be in the state of ecstasy whenever I plug in my earphones (especially when I listen to Years And Years's Desire). </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mmxwrGVHlBY/VZ93IbG2J3I/AAAAAAAABuQ/4GKIMV_Y8MI/s1600/images%2B%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mmxwrGVHlBY/VZ93IbG2J3I/AAAAAAAABuQ/4GKIMV_Y8MI/s1600/images%2B%25282%2529.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I can't hear you~</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometime, It's easier to shut everyone out by simply listening to music. When I press PLAY, it means, I don't want to communicate with human being verbally, I don't want to say Hello in the hallway and everything seems surreal. I embrace music the way music embraces the introverted, social anxiety sides of me. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-giyOLx9siGc/VZ93J0U03kI/AAAAAAAABuk/mJg7pKvWBtU/s1600/ipod-music-picture-tumblr-Favim.com-667360.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-giyOLx9siGc/VZ93J0U03kI/AAAAAAAABuk/mJg7pKvWBtU/s320/ipod-music-picture-tumblr-Favim.com-667360.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Because music is my little secret.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I keep searching for tracks that will quench my thirst in music. Music that understands my sadness. Music that defines true love. Music that would put in my dancing shoes. No matter how many years I've spent searching for that, deep down I realize that I'll never find it. I know but I am in denial. I am too attached to music. I need to break this bad habit. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The journey might be ... long. But, I'm on my way. </span>Syahirah Ruslanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12262024685844913012noreply@blogger.com2