Blessing in a disguise?

I just got here (USM) after a morning flight. Something unexpected happened when I opened my door. I was not expecting a roommate because I knew she was in internship. So nope, not roommate. I expected the room to be empty.

When I opened the door, with my guitar, hanging on my shoulder, I saw 'THIS' right in front of my eyes. What the heck is that? I just wanted to rest. I was sweaty for crying out loud. Penang is real hot.

My first instinct was insisting me to cut down the whole hanging thing. But then I thought about the flying insects that might ambush me for destroying their so-called home. What if they sting me while I sleep. What if? What if? I was so stressed. There are hundreds of other windows, but why they (whatever they are) chose to be here. Why me?

While I was walking to the cafe to buy my lunch, I was thinking about why God put me through this. Why me? Why me? Then this thought came across my mind. I'm sure I've read it somewhere and it sounds like this: 

If you didn't complain and ask 'why me?' to God when it's you're the one who receives excellent grades, outstanding achievement and happiness, then do NOT feel disappointed and ask 'why me?' when you're feeling burdensome, sad and depressed while others don't. 

Then I heard a bird sounds. Then I saw this cute, yellow, little bird came out of it. It turned out to be a bird's nest. I sighed of relief. Alhamdulillah.

I'm 21 and she's married

I was officially 21 on 7th Feb 2016. God, I still feel like 19. I don't even want to be 20. That so-called golden age kind of intimidated me. Most adults would always say that 20s is the BEST time of our lives. But what if, mine happens to be quite mundane, dull or worse, stagnant? I'm feeling stagnant honestly (in various aspects). 

'God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young. ... But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark? - Lost Stars by Keira Knightley

We're young, clueless, dreamers, bursting with energy, burning with passion in our eyes and dreaming of thousands of possibilities. But why we're wasting the youth on the young? 

Oh, right. My sister was officially someone's wife on 7th February 2016. They met around 7 years ago and somehow I can say there was 'spark' from there on. haha. And now, here we go, they're officially married. And there's me, 21 and single (not that I'm complaining). 

omg they look like sisters!

This frame is wayyyy better than typical guestbook that would most probably be left unread.

Yeap I designed this for this avid runners/hikers couple.

And.......... here's a video!

I don't know man, the preparation for this wedding (not marriage) seems so 'leceh'. I was never a fan of wedding, I guess. Yes, I've attended countless weddings (being flower girls and 'pengapit' since I was 4) and back then, I kind of anticipated of sitting on the grand dais with my significant one like 'raja sehari'. But then now, after knowing how much money my parents and my sister 'sacrificed' for the sake of this wedding (it's not even THAT grand), I was utterly flabbergasted. All that for a WEDDING? I rather spend it for marriage. Everything is costly now, I don't feel like getting married. pffft

I respect Margo (from Paper Town) for her strong will to break free from the stereotype that people are expected to one day get into college, secure a job and settle down in a marriage. She refuses to live that way. She's a free soul, she's still wondering and wandering. She's excited for what's next. She does not let that typical people expectation get in her way. Well, that's amazing even though I've never actually met people like Margo in real life. I wish I am as brave as her to lead my life the way I want to instead of letting people bugging me (about marriage, job, etc). 

Well, in my case, it's easy to say that I don't set marriage as a part of my life journey because I haven't found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, let alone fall in love. But still, I regard marriage as a journey which is not meant for everyone and it's not a destination. Who knows, death might be closer to me? 

My priority are upgrading myself, finding my passion and feeding my wanderlust before I decide to settle down. Now, I'm 21 and single and lost. But someday, I might be 32 and single and happy and blessed. I hope I can stay strong not to let people judgments to affect my life decision. 

p/s: My brother is giving me the green light to 'langkah bendul' because he's attempting to follow my father's footstep of getting married in his 30s. Ugh, who says I'm planning to get married ASAP? Calm down, bro. You might want to take back your words.