I've always wanted to do this and that. I've always told my friends to be fearless. Heck, I haven't overcome my fears. For almost two months I've stayed at home, I only managed to read 9 books (mostly fictions), enhance my guitar skill and cycle regularly. That's it. Procrastinating is my best friend. Whenever I tried to get up to do things that I should do, that little voices whispered "There's always tomorrow,". All in all, I became a total slacker. Too many distractions. Or maybe it's because I stayed in comfort zone for too long.
Tomorrow, 1st of Ramadhan begins and I love how Ramadhan always embarks a new journey or transformation for particular muslims. Reminiscing last year Ramadhan, it was quite challenging for me to spend the blissful month at my college, for the first time I was away from my family. I can't believe almost a year has passed by then.
Improve. Improvise. Be productive. Be fearless. Don't be afraid to try new things, because you don't know you might end up liking it. Always learn new things. Be a better Muslimah. Enhance your knowledge about Islam. Brush up your English skills (You ought to upgrade your skill because you want to pursue TESOL, don't you?).
Here's a little bit of sharing:
I believe that we should only speak of good thing or nothing at all. Sometime, I do bite my tongue to stop myself from telling things I know I shouldn't. Girls and gossips are like bread and peanut butter. So, before I try to speak something specifically about another person, I ask myself, "Do I have the authority to speak of that person? Is it okay to spill that person's secret? Is this the right thing to do? What is the consequence of my action?". Oh well, haven't you heard that, Great minds discuss ideas ; average minds discuss events ; small minds discuss people ?
I do realize that some people thought I am very quiet and serious whatsoever. But the thing is, I'm trying not to say something that might hurt my pride (or yours, even) because when I begin to be comfortable with certain people, I would speak carelessly and ridiculously. Haha. I should improve on that part.
I welcome you, Ramadhan, warm-heartedly :)
Have you ever wonder how it would be like to die young? My childhood best friend died young. I had an unforgettable grief for one night. I was so angry at myself, for everything. If I die young, would there be at least one person who would grief over me? Would they miss my presence even when all this time, I was so invisible to them?
Then I knew I should appreciate friendship. But why do they treat friendship like some waves crashing onto the shore, they come and they go. I've made so much efforts to keeping in touch with them, requesting for a meeting, saying I miss them, but they took them for granted. And when I started to love them, they either leave me or worse, betray me. Oh well, I don't have to blame them, I know. I realize that I'm not perfect too. I make mistakes too. It's hard to blend in, to get along with people when you know that you crave for something DIFFERENT. Especially when you realize faking smile, forcing laugh won't get you anywhere. When you're thinking of something else, something real deep and meaningful, but they prefer something .................................. shallow and funny instead. I rather be the one who leaves.
Life's beautiful. I enjoy reading some real good books. I savour the fresh breeze every time I cycle along the beach. Sipping green tea is a calming therapy to me. Then it hits me. I actually enjoy being alone. Too much that my mind feels crowded even when I'm walking down the path with only two of us. It's really hard to let someone crash the boundaries and it's okay. It's lonely here, but I'm happy :')
There's this person. That I could address him as a friend. But still, the atmosphere between us appears - awkward. Well, at least it IS awkward to me (I bet he just doesn't care). He makes me feel like a noob every time we strike a conversation. For the first time in my life I feel like a noob in front of a PERSON. Oh well, I am typically used to being a noob right in front of books, Google, blogs and Facebook. For unknown reason, I began to stutter when I tried to speak to him. Ugh. At some points, he's like a mirror, reflecting my flaws and for some reasons, I saw his weaknesses too (haha). For the record, I do NOT fancy him. I just find it amusing to come across this kind of person. Hah. I'm glad I did.
