Twenty

Alright, I give up. I can't force myself to write those topics for the sake of accomplishing the challenge anymore. You got me. The topics no longer seem appealing to me. Sorry.

Currently, I'm at home for 5 weeks of holiday. As usual, holiday means, slacking off, eating, watching movies till I puke rainbows, reading (and re-reading) novels and sleeping. Ugh. I wish I would be more productive. So, here's a letter to myself when I reach 20 (which would be this 7th Feb) to MOTIVATE me.







Dear 20-year-old Syahirah Ruslan,

     Let's start with your Imaan. Have you read the Islamic book that you always want to read and study? You've bought the book for the sake of attending Fardhu Ain class but have you read it for your OWN sake? I hope you did. May I ask about your relationship with Allah? Please do not regard your prayers as a instant reflex aka routine. Please, talk to Him, remember, He always listens. He understands. I hope you turn to Him FIRST before your family and friend. I hope you do.

     You're officially a TESOLian, I see. You've even passed your first semester. Do you think your efforts were really adequate............ (God I feel like crying)? I know you've always attended your lectures despite the fact that most fellow coursemates didn't. But did you really study hard enough to ace those tests? Wait. That sounded so wrong. Did you study just so you could pass those tests or for the sake of gaining knowledge because of Allah? Girl, I hope you would never forget to renew your intention. Girl, I hope you realise that you did not throw much efforts in studying for the first semester (sigh) and with that, please work harder for second semester, thank you.

    In order to compensate your love towards foooood (especially chocolate, cakes, desserts, anything that has butter, cheese), I hope you've made an effort to cycle regularly and practise pilates through the YouTube channel that you've subscribed for months. If you can't make a commitment with that one-month plan, what's up with learning the dance routine by Kyle Hanagami? Stop complaining about your dissatisfaction towards your body shape if you don't even bother to work out, okay? Huh.

     Now that you're 20, I hope you are mature enough to speak nicely instead of sarcastically. I mean, you should think before you talk. Do NOT talk about other people. Do NOT gossip about them. Control your temper. Do NOT let your temper overrules you and hurts others. And please, learn to trust other people. I know it's hard, but you can't love them without believing in them.

    Have you learned how to crochet? You've always wanted to do that since your junior frequently shares photos of her adorable, 'self-crochetted' hats in Facebook. Have you made any progress in playing guitar, you know like, mastering the bar chords. You've played guitar for almost 7 years (oh my God, I still can't believe it) but you barely play any songs that require you to apply bar chords. You keep in MOTION, but there's no PROGRESSION. Haish. I hope you've made an effort to write songs like you always wanted to do. Oh right, what about a novel that you've always wanted to write?

    Calm down. I know that being 20 is quite a pressure to you, but I hope that you'll always make progression instead of staying in comfort zone. Every step matters okay. Good luck!