#11 Single Life?

Let's get intimate. After my puppy love phase was over, I didn't date anyone (starting my high school years). I had this stupid, immature crush on someone for a year (throughout my high school years). Worst of all, I had this painful urge to confess about my feeling towards him, but then it turned out he didn't like me back (so pathetic, I know). Alright, I thought maybe I was not pretty enough. I was not smart enough. I was not sweet, soft-spoken, girly kind of girl enough to win his heart. Man, I was so wrong. Clearly, we both don't deserve each other and better stay as friends (until now). However, I am glad I did every senseless, stupid decision in my life because that's how I learn to take precaution step in my future undertakings. 

Day by day, I think I've developed this conscience of not being able to see the good in people like them ('them' refers to men). Their action tend to reflect their weaknesses to me. It annoys me to the point I can't stand being around them. But wait, I'm just a human. Sometime I fell for the person I know I shouldn't. I just kept it to myself and consider it as a distraction - thing that I should get rid off of me. For the record, I don't date. I just won't. It'll go against my principle to actually date someone. I believe, Islam forbids dating and provides marriage as a solution. May Allah, the turner of hearts, keep my faith of obeying what pleases Him. InsyaAllah. 

Oh well, single life is good. For someone who's a lone ranger like me, single life is a bliss. Sometime, I could never imagine there would ever be a person out there (with different gender as mine) is willing to be with me because I am so ........... complicated. And boring. So, for now, I don't want to bother with the thoughts of waiting for my soulmate whatsoever (even though they tend to haunt me unintentionally), because when the time is right, and I am ready, there might (who knows?) be a person from all walks of life who possesses this 'mental synchronization' with me ( a man version of my girl best friend). Haha. This is getting too personal. I should stop. Now. Period.