Truth

Have you ever wonder how it would be like to die young? My childhood best friend died young. I had an unforgettable grief for one night. I was so angry at myself, for everything. If I die young, would there be at least one person who would grief over me? Would they miss my presence even when all this time, I was so invisible to them? 
     Then I knew I should appreciate friendship. But why do they treat friendship like some waves crashing onto the shore, they come and they go. I've made so much efforts to keeping in touch with them, requesting for a meeting, saying I miss them, but they took them for granted. And when I started to love them, they either leave me or worse, betray me. Oh well, I don't have to blame them, I know. I realize that I'm not perfect too. I make mistakes too. It's hard to blend in, to get along with people when you know that you crave for something DIFFERENT. Especially when you realize faking smile, forcing laugh won't get you anywhere. When you're thinking of something else, something real deep and meaningful, but they prefer something .................................. shallow and funny instead. I rather be the one who leaves.  
     Life's beautiful. I enjoy reading some real good books. I savour the fresh breeze every time I cycle along the beach. Sipping green tea is a calming therapy to me. Then it hits me. I actually enjoy being alone. Too much that my mind feels crowded even when I'm walking down the path with only two of us. It's really hard to let someone crash the boundaries and it's okay. It's lonely here, but I'm happy :')